Help me DrLove
by Hasmine
Summary: What would you do if all of your relationships didn't last longer than 4mnths.QUIT,maybe, but not Bella Swan instead she seeks help from the famous Dr.Love.Can he help her with her problem or only worsen it. ExB,AxJ,RxE,AU,AH,slightOOC.pls RnR. TRY IT.:D
1. My so called curse

I do not own Twilight it belongs to the amazing Stephanie Meyer. However Edward Cullen and Emmett Cullen does own me

A/N: This is my first ever fan fic so please please be nice. Review it will help a lot. I hope you like it. "Suddenly wishing you don't kill me" oh I added something here it's not long, just to clear things up later.

Summary: Bella Swan an ordinary girl that had extraordinary relationships. All of them didn't last longer than 4 months. Irritated, she seeks help from a famous love consultant, Dr. Love aka Edward Cullen. Can he help with her problem or only worsen it. AH ExB, JxA, ExR Slight OOC

**Chapter 1 "My so called curse"**

_**BPOV**_

"What the hell Jacob I thought you love me, you said you couldn't live a life without me. Tell me was all of that crap? Huh?"

Tears were streaming down my face when I screamed at Jacob. How could he do this to me? He slept with another girl.

"I love you and it's not crap, it's just - - it's just" he stuttered. It looked like he was trying to find an excuse. What's up with men and their excuses?

"It's just what Jacob, tell me. Don't think about lying to me" I said angrily.

"I didn't know why I did it" he said facing me. I snorted. Did he think that I would fall for his lame excuses?

"Jacob" I shot him a glare "I've heard a lot of pretty lame excuse from my pretty lame boyfriends and this might replace 'my cat died I had to bury it to the sea' and 'I couldn't find my phone'." Jacob was stunned. He tried covering his mouth to muffle his laughter but I glowered at him, all of a sudden his face became serious.

I sat on the couch trying to calm my emotions. I was ready to kill someone. I didn't want to be on the front page news saying 'broken hearted girl killed her ex-boyfriend'. He looked at me curiously attempting to crack the barriers of emotion I've build. He closed the space between us. He muttered a word that surprised me.

"I'm sorry" his voice was full of sincerity. It caused me to daze a little but I snap out of it quickly. I suddenly let my guard down and he noticed it. Jake took advantage of it and sat next to me. He wiped the tears with his hand but I flinched. Did he really think that I would just hug him and accept his damn apology? Well better think again. I rose from the couch and headed to our room (well now it's my room). I took all his clothes and went back to the living room where he sat quietly. I threw the clothes to the floor, after I started a fire with my lighter. Jacob gasped I think he knew what I was up to.

He stood up and said "don't even think, no don't even try Bella" now he was commanding me. I made the decision and threw the lighter on his clothes. The fire spread hastily.

He tried to put out the fire with his jacket but it didn't work. Jake was doing everything just to stop it while I stood there absentmindedly watching. The smoke was going up causing the sprinklers to switch on soaking us both. It felt nice

Jacob grabbed me by the shoulder and started shaking me.

"What the hell was that for? The fire could have spread in the apartment. We could have died!" He wore an expression I had never seen, it scared me. I was rendered speechless.

"Get out" was the only words I can form with my head. He looked at me baffled by my sudden words. He stood there idly waiting for me to say it again.

"Get out" I repeated screaming. Traitor tears were now forming in my eyes. He dropped his hands and stormed off through the door. My knees started to feel weak and I fell on the floor.

The tears were streaming down my face I couldn't hold on to it any longer. I took my cell phone out and called two of my closest friends Alice and Rosalie.

---"Alice" I sobbed.

---"Bella, we'll be there in a couple of minutes." Alice realized the situation quickly. I was thankful that I didn't need to explain my self to Alice. This was the reason I was so close to her and Rosalie. Without talking to them they would still understand what I'm trying to convey.

I met them at school, they were my roommates. I was new and Alice took the liberty to tour me around campus then our friendship began, for years the three of us were inseparable. When we graduated we took different paths. Alice studied fashion, Rosalie became a top and famous model and I took English literature. For three years we weren't able to see each other. This year they decided to come back. Our apartments were close to each other so that if someone needs help we can get there faster.

I turn off my phone and got up. I wouldn't want them to see me at this state. There was a lot of water puddle left from the sprinklers, I tried cleaning it up but what do you expect from super clumsy Bella Swan than causing more of a problem than fixing it. Same old Bella I thought.

A few minutes pass Alice and Rose busted through my apartment calling me out. I ran towards Alice and Rosalie, crushing them with a tight hug.

"Hey quite crushing me, I still want to grow you know" Alice joked.

"Alice as if you'd grow" Alice slapped Rosalie's arm and we started to laugh. This was comfortable.

That night I told Alice and Rosalie what happened between Jacob and me.

"What the hell. Have you seen the girl's face?" Rosalie asked

"Why?"

"Well you know What if she had webbed feet or feathers were growing out of her skin. What if she's not pretty enough to replace you?" I cringed a little. If Jacob slept with her, she should be beautiful. The only person Jake slept with - literally slept with as in no action happening - that isn't pretty is me."

"Well that was stupid" Alice snorted. I laughed at the remark, but it made me think a little.

"Bella, what's on your mind" Alice said snapping me out of my train of thoughts "you know you can tell us everything you feel."

I hesitated for a moment but I knew that if keep it a secret from Alice and Rosalie, they would annoy me to death just to find out the answer.

"What if Jacob left because he got bored of my plain looks" I started questioning myself "What if Jacob left because I was no good" I started to feel warm liquid pools form in my eyes.

"Bella stop that. Jacob is a fool for leaving you. You are beautiful and you don't see yourself clearly" Alice said getting irritated by my lack of appreciation for myself.

"Yeah Bella" Rosalie stated "If I would be a guy, the first girl I'm going to ask out would be you. No offence Alice."

"None taken. I would do the same" I started to feel the blush creep up to my face.

"Bella, can I ask a question?" Alice said I nodded in agreement.

"How long was your longest relationship and who were you with?" ouch I think that was a low blow. I didn't tell them much about my relationships in the past. I wouldn't want to embarrass myself.

"uhmm" I started fidgeting "3 months and three weeks that was with….." I was reluctant to answer the question "Jacob" I finished.

They were shocked by my sudden revelation. I knew I wasn't that pretty but when Jacob appeared I was starting to think otherwise. Then he broke my heart. Stupid stupid Jake.

I was pretty average for a person. I had alabaster skin, brown eyes that look like a puddle of mud. I also have brown hair, 100% AVERAGE.

"You're kidding right, tell me Rose she's kidding" Alice asked while pulling Rosalie's shirt.

"Shit Bella it's true, isn't it?" I suddenly felt the redness of my cheeks return. I did know that I had bad relationships but I didn't think that it was really that bad, is it?

"You need to tell us everything okay!" I was shocked.

Alice and Rose were pretty so they could not have experienced any of this, especially Rose. They were like angels in heaven while I looked like I was spat out by heaven.

"Okay, but can I tell you tomorrow because it's getting late and I'm pretty tired from the events tonight" I hope that they would understand. I needed courage to tell them about my so called curse. Alice and Rosalie agreed. I stood up from the bed and took a shower. When I got back Rosalie and Alice were already sleeping. Good thing I bought a king size bed enough to hold us three. After a few minutes I fell into deep slumber.

I woke up that morning with Alice jumping around, waking me up.

"Sooo…can you tell me?" Alice asked.

"Can I eat breakfast first and drink my coffee before..uhm..telling you the story"

Alice was overjoyed and turned all out berserk on me. She pulled me to the living room where Rose was sitting on the couch watching TV. Alice jerked me to the sit in front of the table. She stared at me while I was eating, she chews when I chew, and she drinks when I drink. It was kinda fun at least, for me it shows that Alice really cares for me.

I stood up and went straight to the living room where Rosalie was seated comfortably. As I sat down Rosalie turned off the TV and patted my back.

"Good luck" I just nodded, I think I might need one. Alice suddenly came, skipping, to us. I can't believe this girl has a lot of energy I on the other hand I'm tired for waking up so early. It was still 8:00 in the morning.

"So this is how it goes" I started. I inhaled a lot of air and continue with my story. "You know, I started dating when you guys left. My first boyfriend was Mike Newton. I didn't know what came over me."

"Mike Newton?" Alice asked. "As in Mike Newton, the one who hits on you all the time in collage?"

"Yup, and I know what you're trying to say. I still didn't know what took over me that I accepted that request" Rosalie and Alice giggled. "Maybe he drugged you"

"He didn't even last for three weeks." I started to laugh at myself Alice and Rosalie followed soon after wards.

I continued my story telling them about James, who was in love with my mother to an extent that he, stalked her. My mother was creep out so she had to call Charlie and put a restraining order on him. He lasted for about 2 months. The 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th didn't leave much of an expression they all lasted a month and a half. The last and the longest would be Jacob. I though that he would be the '_right one'_. A week was left before we celebrate our 4th monthsary. I noticed that he was being distant. One time I borrowed his phone because I needed to call Charlie. There was a new message and I accidentally opened it said

Jake,

Sex with you was great. We should do it again. Hope your girlfriend doesn't find out.

Loves and kisses

Jenny

I felt like my world came crashing down on me. The trust I built for him came crashing down, that's when I knew i should end this."

I took a few breathers before talking again. Alice was a little speechless. This was a nice view sometimes.

"Wow" Rosalie said while comforting me. Alice jump from the couch with a small sly smile. I knew that she had a plan.

"Dress up ladies tonight we're going to party!" I mentally groaned. This should be interesting.

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I know it's not good. Sorry for some words..:) sooo..please review it will help me a lot. Tell me if I should continue or not (probably most of you will say "stay away from fan fiction don't ever write.")

Edward will probably make his appearance at chapter 2


	2. unexpected meeting

I do not own Twilight it belongs to the amazing Stephanie Meyer. However Edward Cullen and Emmett Cullen does own me.

I'm sorry if it took so long. There were a lot of bad things that happened to me. I hope you can review it would mean a lot to me. I would also wish you would enjoy. "Suddenly prays you don't chase me with pitch forks and torches".

**Chapter 2 "unexpected meeting"**

_**BPOV**_

"Why am I in a hell hole? What did I do to deserve this? I don't wanna die young; I've got so much to do!" I was fidgeting on the chair while Alice combed my hair.

"Jesus Christ Bella, can you please shut up for just one second. Once I'm finish with you, all the guys will be drooling over you" she sprayed different kinds of product in my hair which was suffocating me.

"Alice" I yelled looking up to her "if you want me to live then please let me out of this room. There are scents here that are unknown to man. I think I'll die before I can go out! Really!" I tried to free myself, but to no avail. She grabbed my shoulder strong enough to stop me. I could not move at all, I felt immobilize. Damn this little pixie and her little strong hands.

"Stay still Bella! If you want to show off your body to snag a hottie – ohh it rhymes – you need to step up on your game, so follow my orders got it." She began to tap her 4 inch death contraption, which by the way should be banned. It's a danger to all.

"Yes." damn this little rhyming pixie. Remember this day; you'll pay for it one way or another.

After a couple of excruciating minutes, she was done. Thank God I didn't die. She soon covered my eyes with her small palms, lightly to not ruin the make-up. She turned me around so that I was facing the mirror, and she let her hands fall and my eye sight was brought back.

"Wow! Wait more like woah" I didn't even recognize myself there for a second. This was the work of art Alice kept telling me.

Alice smiled. She turned around so that she can now focus on her make-up.

I noticed that my eyes had a sultry look. Alice is a master of creating smokey eyes. My lashes were long and dark which gave me a little mysterious air. She powdered my cheeks with a soft peach color and my lips were coated with a light pink gloss.

While I was still admiring her work, someone busted through the front door and screamed

"Bella, Alice are you here?

"Rose! We're here in Bella's room." Alice screamed.

A couple of seconds pass then I heard footsteps. The door swung open causing me to jump.

"Bella is that you?" Rosalie approached me and checked my new look.

"Who are you and what have you done with plain, innocent Bella?"

"Is it really that bad rose?"

"Look for yourself" she turned me around so that I could face the mirror again, and for the first time I noticed my dress. It was very short but it was beautiful. It was a blue haltered satin dress that fell of about 3 inches above my knee**. (A/N: it was short for Bella but not for Alice and Rosalie)**. It was tight around the chest area but to my surprise it was still comfortable. For once I was ready to party.

I knew that I should be thanking Alice for the new look or 'work of art' she has given me. I walked closer to Alice and hugged her with full force. She let out a sigh and hugged me back, after a few seconds I felt Rosalie joined.

"Thank you Alice for everything"

"Hey! You should also thank me I'm the one who pick out your dress" I laughed at the remark.

"Thank you Rosalie"

"No problem" Rose answered. We were having our moment, when suddenly we were interrupted.

"Hey why am I not invited in that group hug?" I heard a loud voice filling the room. His eyes were excited and he was grinning like a little boy who got a candy.

"Hey Emmett, how long have you been here?"

"Not long enough" he smiled coyly "is there any chance you can make room for little ol' me" he wiggled his eyebrows at us.

"Emmett you are not little, you're bigger than an elephant"

"aww come on it's just a joke" Rosalie slapped Emmett's shoulder which sort of bugged him a little. He then assaulted Rosalie with kisses.

"Sto — st – stop, Emmett it tickles" he moved his kisses between Rosalie's ear and neck.

"Get a room, horndogs" Alice screamed. I knew she was getting annoyed.

"Get a life Tinkerbelle" He said in between kisses. Alice gasped at the comment.

"FYI I have a life." "Rosalie" she whined

"ok ok" she answered "Emmett if you don't stop this instant, I will make sure you will not have any fun tonight got it" like a little puppy obeying his master so that he could get a treat, he stopped and left a quick kiss on Rosalie's lips.

After an hour we were all ready get going and party. Alice and Rosalie were beautiful as always. They could intimidate a room full of girls just by standing there. They wore a tight and short dress that accentuated their curves nicely. Emmett on the other hand was dashing, no manly as ever with his shirt. It was tight around his arms showing his; actually he was flaunting his biceps. Any man would be scared to cross his path

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When we arrived at the bar it was jam packed with people. Luckily Emmett, being a party freak knew the owner so we easily entered the bar. Upon our entrance all the heads were turning at our direction, we were receiving whistles and glares across the room.

When we were finally seated the waiter arrived. He stood beside me and started to take our orders. Alice wanted a martini. Rose ordered a vodka martini and Emmett ordered a beer, while I ordered a can of coke, not wanting to get drunk. I didn't like the feel of a hang over and I do crazy things when I'm drunk. When I start drinking I'll never stop until I pass out.

"awhhh, Bella is alcohol too much for you, are we a baby now" Emmett started to baby talk.

"Shut it McCartney"

After a few minutes Emmett coughed and said "Yow buddy eyes up here not there, even if you stare at those for hours it's not gonna talk to you"

The waiter snapped his head up so that he was looking over Emmett. Then it came to me that the slimy, sleazy waiter was staring at my chest. I stood up and out of reflex I kicked him in the groin causing him to fall and roll over the floor.

"Wow! Bella I didn't know you had it in you. Good job" Rosalie raised her thumb up.

"That's what you get when you mess with Bella Swan, she's not even drunk, Woo" Emmett said and started to laugh.

The waiter frantically stood up and scampered away from us. For a moment we started laughing.

"Hey there's Jasper I should probably meet him." Emmett left and approached Jasper. He started talking to him and led him to our table.

"Guys this is Jasper my friend" we greeted him warmly. He was handsome but he's not my type. He had honey blond hair and you can see that he had a toned body.

"Jasper this is My Rose, Bella and Alice" Emmett held his hand towards us. Rosalie and I shook hands with Jasper. Alice was a little stun, she and Jasper held hands a little longer than necessary. Rosalie started grinning widely at Alice causing her to blush releasing Jasper's hand. Jasper was depressed at the lack of contact between them.

He introduced himself "Hello everyone my name is Jasper as you know I am the owner the club. I knew Emmett at college, we were best of friend." He had this southern type of accent when he talked.

We all introduce ourselves to him, Alice was a little shy at first but she opened up quickly. They were good for each other. Alice was hyperactive while Jasper was calm. He complemented her well.

At the middle of the night all of them had partners to go with while I was lonely. A lot of guys were asking and throwing lame pick up lines that barely work, first was 'Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW! Then there was 'Bond. James Bond. The silliest would be 'You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.' Eeww?!

I was practically getting annoyed. I thought that this would help me forget about Jacob and my relationship but it was the other way around, I was lonely. Alice and Rosalie were having fun with their 'boyfriends' while I sulk in the corner. If I couldn't get a guy tonight then I would drink my night away right? I ordered a lot of beer and started drinking. I knew what the consequences were and I'm ready to take it just to make the feeling fade away.

After a few minutes of careless drinking I wanted to dance, dance, and dance. I stood up from the couch and walked towards the dance floor, it was a little crowded. I started to move my body and this time I can feel that I wasn't my usual self. I loosened up and it felt damn good. Normally I wouldn't even step an inch on the dance floor.

When I started to dance some guy touched my ass which made me uncomfortable. I quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him until I can see his face. I punched him on the jaw then dashed away from the floor.

I knew I was being too violent tonight but anger and annoyance of lame pick up lines were building inside of me. I wanted to get out of here and sleep. I walked over where Jasper and Alice were giggling and said my goodbye then I started to search for Rose and Emmett who were no where to be found. Probably they are in some corner making out or maybe they already left. Those two can't even wait for an hour or two jeez, they are really horndogs.

I started to walk downstairs when I, Bella Swan missed a step, a freaking step. I closed my eyes waiting for my fall but to my surprise it didn't happen. The only thing I felt was a pair of strong hands embrace me. I opened my eyes and found the most handsome man in the world. He was an Adonis on earth. He stared at me with his striking emerald eyes. I found myself blush at the moment. He looked like a rare diamond being shown to spectators like me to worship it. Beneath his shirt I can feel his muscle, it turned me on. Shit Bella! Concentrate you don't even know this guy he might take advantage of you. Well I really don't mind it… Damn Bella focus think straight he can be a killer. I was coming up with different excuses when he spoke.

"Excuse me miss but are you ok?" His voice was smooth and velvety. It made my knees turn to jelly. God is there really a beautiful creature standing beside me or is it my extraordinary creative mind. I suddenly realize it can't be my imagination cause I can't even imagine a pig with wings and was flying high above the ground.

"uhmmm miss" he waved his hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my day dream, well actually night dream. A lock of hair had fallen in front of his face. He got it and ran his hands through his hair that it made it sexier, God it looked like sex hair no it was sex hair. I started to blush and said "yep".

He let go of me and I started to walk forward when suddenly I wobbled and I almost fell but for the second time around he caught and cornered me.

My back was against the wall while his arms were caged around me, I can feel his heavy breathing on my face and I'm sure he can also feel mine. I know it reeks of alcohol. We were stuck at that position for a few seconds while the tension grew. I felt a current of electricity pass through the air while we were admiring each other.

I stared at his full red lips wanting it to kiss my lips or any part of my body. Unexpectedly his face was coming close to mine, closing the distance that separates us. He kissed me, I was divided, half of me wanted to fight back while the other half wanted more. The alcohol type side won, I put my hands around his neck and I run my hands through his hair. When he felt that I reciprocated his feelings he added more passion to the kiss, he held me closer to his body.

We both pulled away from the lack of oxygen, but his lips never left my face. He brushed his lips against my neck, my cheek and my jaw line. He was teasing me and I couldn't take it any longer, I pulled his face to meet with mine and started to kiss him again. This time when he tried to deepen the kiss, I felt a little dizzy then after a few seconds I couldn't see anything.

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So how was it? If you were **EDWARD** what will you do when a beautiful girl has fallen unconscious in front of you? I'll try to put a little of the consulting part in the next chapter. Oh by the way just review if you want Edward's point of view. I've read a lot of magazine so I hope I could be ready. I hope that you would still read my work.

Thanks... :) BYE!


	3. Like an angel

I do not own Twilight it belongs to the amazing Stephanie Meyer. However Edward Cullen and Emmett Cullen does own me. My IMAGINARY EDWARD wants to play, and a play he will get.

Oh! Thank you for those who gave comments and put my story on alert I hope you could continue reading my stupid, crappy work. YOU GUYS GIVE ME LIFE. "can't understand herself either" Please Please read and review.

**Imaginary Edward**: please forgive her she's at a happy place right now. SO I give you chapter 3. ENJOY!

**Chapter 3: "Like an Angel"**

Today is the worst day of my life, or is it?

I woke up from the sound of my annoying alarm clock, so the only thing left to do is throw the stupid thing at the wall. I slept for another 5 minutes or was it 30 minutes well who cares. I woke up around 9:30 in the morning. Suddenly I remembered I had an appointment with one of those lovesick or loveless people.

I always hated my job but the pay was high and there were times when different hot and beautiful girls wanted my advice, That is where my area of expertise comes in.

"Shit" it's already 9:40. My first appointment is at 9:30. I ran straight to the bathroom and took a bath after it I dried myself and slip into my usual work clothes which consist of a button up shirt and a pair of pants. I went to the basement and drove my favorite car, my Volvo. I got there in time, well basically not in time but still it was the best record I ever got. It was already 10:10 so I was 40 minutes late.

When I entered my office, I saw my first patient. Good thing it was 'high', ok I know, I give nicknames to people who isn't easily remembered. Curse me. I gave her that nickname because even though I was late for 30 or 50 minutes or even if I don't attend our sessions she still has that huge smile plastered on her face. She looks like she's using crack or something, which kinda scares me.

"Hi doc" there she goes again with her huge smile. One word: C-R-E-E-P-Y.

"Hello hi--I mean Summer" whew, that was close. I move towards my desk and placed my things on the table. "So what's the matter Summer is something bothering you?" I asked

"Dr. Cullen I think I need lessons on how to be seductive" what!! Is she out of her mind? Now I think the crack thing isn't impossible.

"Why" I was suddenly curious.

"Cause you know I like this guy and I can't even talk to him. I think, you being a love consultant should know a thing or two about being seductive." Hell yeah, I wasn't the best for nothing.

"Well I'm not sure, I'll try"

After an hour my session with Summer ended. Let's just say being seductive isn't her forte. I just told her that have confidence, talk to the guy and be herself. If he doesn't like her for who she is then he isn't worth it. I also told her that if she seduced the guy then the guy is not falling in love with her he's just falling in lust for her. Damn! I patted myself in the back for that advice. Like I said I wasn't the best if I couldn't give an advice to something so trivial.

The rest of the morning passed like pure bliss. I thought it would continue until lunch but no, it had to be destroyed by Jessica, my secretary.

I once like Jessica, but then I found out that she was practically sleeping with half the guys in the company. I lost interest in her, I like my women to be untouched and it always adds up to the excitement if she's like a forbidden fruit.

"Eddie would you like something" she purred with her nasal voice. Wait did she think it was sexy? I think I'm about to throw up and nobody calls me 'eddie' even my mother couldn't call me that.

"Well actually I wanted you to…" I trailed off

"Yes" she seemed excited.

"I wanted you to give me the list of the patients who will be attending the afternoon appointments"

"awh, OK"

"Well? You can leave now" I motioned for the door.

"Eddy are you free like tonight cause like I wanted to like go on a date like with you?" Wow it's the first time I've ever heard so many 'like' in one sentence.

"Well I'm busy tonight so I might reject the invitation but thanks for asking me"

"Then what about like tomorrow or sometime like this week, like you know you can do whatever you like with me?" I knew about the hidden meaning in that sentence.

"Like I don't know" I mimicked her voice "I'll go out with you if the feathers of the crows turn white ok" Can't she notice that I didn't like her and I will never like her.

"Really! Well can I like just ask like one question, like when does it happen cause you know I need to schedule my appointment with like my manicurist. Like I also need a facial, so does it happen during March or like mid-May?" Well I technically think that there is no dumber person in the world.

"Are crows like reindeer cause you know like there so mysterious with their glowing red nose and stuff? And how can they carry a fat old guy around the world?" Was she dropped when she was a baby? What's wrong with her freaking mind?

"I don't know"

"Well ok baby bye." Baby? Ok I need to fire her and get a new secretary that has a normal brain and not someone that has a nerd sized brain.

My bad afternoon didn't stop there my next appointment was with 'miss problematic' I mentally groaned. Every week she comes here with different kinds of problem. This week it was 'my boyfriend doesn't talk or care for me anymore marathon'. I just told her to trust her boyfriend and if she doubts him talk to him, communication goes a long way.

All in all I attended 9 appointments and I was damn proud of myself. Usually I only attend 5-6 appointments.

It was already 5:00 pm and it was about time to leave. I rushed out from my office, not wanting to bump into someone. Luckily I didn't encounter Jessica. I thought she would stalk me until I agreed to go out with her. Well for her I already agreed, maybe I can tell her it happens between the month of December and January.

When I got home, my psycho girlfriend well soon to be ex-girlfriend Tanya called.

"_Baby" why does everybody call me baby? I'll take note that my next girl would only call me Edward. It freaks me out having to picture their faces while they deliver me._

"_What do you want?" I grumbled._

"_Well seeing you're at home, I want you to come here." Well I think that maybe this is the best time to break up with her._

"_Where are you?"_

"_I'm at Serene, the new club"_

"_Well ok be right there in 20-25 minutes."_

"_Bye baby" I shivered, ok someone needs to stop that. _

I stood up, change my clothes and drove out the house. This time I used my special occasion car, the Aston Martin Vanquish. When I got there I parked around the corner and got out. While I walked towards the crowd of people I saw a familiar face, he was talking to the bouncer outside the club.

"Jasper Whitlock" He looked around to see who called him then he finally noticed me.

"Well look what we have here. Edward Anthony Cullen" He still has this southern type accent when he talks.

"Well what are you doing trying to fight off the bouncer?" he laughed.

"Well actually I'm actually checking the VIP list and another one was added well actually two"

"You own the club? Wow who would have thought Jasper from high school? Things does change huh"

"Well even I was surprised. So what brought you here in this part of town Dr. Love? I snorted. I remembered Tanya. "You know about my work?" I was caught off guard.

"Your famous Edward, everything about you is gossip and I always see you with someone on your arm, so why did you come here?" I

"Well actually I'm here to break up with my girlfriend"

"Well you chose a very nice place. Good job!" I chuckled. "Well atleast it was nice right?"

Jasper's phone rang and he answered it. He left me to think; I was planning on how to break up with her. My consultant side took over, well face-to-face is a must. It's important to give Tanya the chance to ask questions and feel the sentiment underneath the words. So I'll just say 'It's not working, it's no one's fault, and we need to make a change.' I was still talking to myself when Jasper spoke.

"So I need to go inside and meet up with someone you wanna come?"

"Well maybe next time I need to finish my job here"

"ohh yeah, I forgot well good luck I hope she takes it.." he wasn't sure how to answer "nicely."

"I doubt it" Tanya always screams at me which by the way is deafening. "If you stay up until later you possibly will hear screaming and shouting, maybe if you're lucky you might witness the 'art of throwing things'."

"I always wanted to see how to master the 'art of throwing things' oh great one" well I hope I don't get hit by that things flying.

Jasper added me in the VIP list so I can easily enter. When we got up, we took our separate ways. I went to look for Tanya. I spotted the most beautiful girl in the room.

She was wearing something blue which was my favorite color and something very tight. She has this long beautiful brown hair that flows just below her shoulders. While I was admiring her she stood up and kicked the waiter in his groin causing him to fall. It made me laugh a little but it must have hurt badly and with those killer shoes.

I started walking away when suddenly a pair of hands hugged me from the back.

"Eddie, baby I miss you" she turned me around so that I was facing her "don't you miss me" I couldn't blurt it out. I'll just ask her to go somewhere quiet or in my apartment. After a couple hours of dancing I wanted to stop the act.

"Tanya can we go to my place" she squealed a little and started to pull me towards the exit door.

"Edward I'm so excited you never let me inside your apartment" She didn't know what was going to hit her. Shit I suddenly started to chicken out.

"Baby what do you want me to wear?" Well you could wear a sexy… stop… woah was that my conscience? You need to break up with her. Yeah I need to.

When we got out, she remembered she forgot her purse inside the club. I being the gentleman, yeah right. What? It was my last hours with her I need to put a good impression that I still cared for her. Hey why am I battling with my conscience? I shrugged it of and headed to the club. When I started to go up, the door opened and out came an angel.

She was a little drunk, you could see from her stance. When the angel started to descend from the stairs, she missed a step causing her to fall. I instantly held my hand out so I could catch her.

She shut her eyes with all her might causing me to chuckle, I hope she didn't hear it. She opened her eyes and stared at me. She had beautiful chocolate brown orbs that can melt any heart. She also has a luscious full lip that makes you want to kiss it every second.

"Excuse me miss are you ok?" I tried to restrain myself. I couldn't take advantage of a beautiful girl who is drunk. She wasn't answering my question so I tried asking her again.

"uhmm miss" I waved my hand in front of her face. I think she snapped out of something, I mentally smirked. She was ogling me as much as I was ogling her, well. A lock of hair fell and I brush it off instantly.

"Yup" she speaks o speak again my angel. I totally forgot about the thing I was suppose to be doing. I let her go, not wanting the lack of contact with each other but I needed to get the purse and get back to Tanya.

Before heading upstairs I watched her to be sure if she needed any help. Well to be sure she doesn't meet anyone that will sexually harass her. Except you, my conscience shouted. Luck was finally at my side and what I wanted most happened.

She tripped. I caught and cornered her between my arms. I could smell her scent and feel her hot breath. I felt a mixture of excitement and worry. The tension grew and waves of electricity pass. I couldn't take it; I leaned closer and pressed my lips with her. I wanted her to stop me but I couldn't resist, neither did she.

She placed her arms around my neck and run it through my hair, she reciprocated my feelings. I held her closer and my hands started to caress her body roaming every part of her body. We pulled away from the lack of oxygen but my lips didn't leave her body, I teased her. I bit her neck causing her to couldn't wait and pulled me again to meet her lips, when I tried to deepen the kiss there was no response.

I stop and felt that she stopped moving, had I done something wrong? I peeked at her and found out that she fell unconscious, I chuckled at the moment. I couldn't just leave her here so I carried her – bridal style - but no God has another plan for me.

When I turned around Tanya was standing infront of me and someone with a short spiked hair stood at the door.

"CRAP!" Was all I could say.

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So I know it was quite long and I left a cliffhanger I think? Well I think no, I wish you were satisfied. I hope you could review. Pwetty pwetty please I'll give you my imaginary Edward…, just joking.

"Runs around the house and went to my panic room" wahaha…:D.

Oh and I remember please give me **insights suggestion or comments** to make it more fun..

Give me funny lines that I can insert in the story…

Thanks again….REVIEW it would make my imaginary EDWARD HAPPY…:| :))


	4. My fist and my 4inch Manolos

I do not own Twilight it belongs to the amazing Stephanie Meyer. However Edward Cullen and Emmett Cullen does own me. My IMAGINARY EDWARD wants to drink blood and he will drink blood.

Oh! Thank you for those who gave comments and put my story on alert I hope you could continue reading my stupid, crappy work. So yeah, I didn't want to offend any Barney lovers out there. I rushed this chapter a bit but hopefully it will still make you laugh even if it's just a smile.

**Imaginary EDWARD**: I vant to suck your vlood...but after you read and review this chapter. "Smiles"

**Chapter 4 "my fist and my 4inch Manolos"**

Love prefers **twilight** to daylight

**EPOV**

"Tanya wait... it's not what you think well it is actually but… I can explain" I stood there facing her while she fumed.

"Edward let's hear your wonderful explanation, oh and while you're at it can you explain why her tongue was inside your mouth" she said sarcastically. I didn't even get to that part yet, but shit I didn't know what to do.

A thought crossed my mind. Isn't this a good thing it's much easier if Tanya was the one who broke up with me but then again tabloids would show up, and my mom, Esme would get angry again.

"uhm Tanya I'm sorry" I tried my hardest to sound sincere.

"Well don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not, you're only sorry you got caught" ok it sounded like it was taken from a song.

"Tanya there's never a right time to say goodbye but hell it's not working between us" then here comes the famous line "it's not you it's me" she walked closer and slapped me. It stung a lot and with all that jewelry placed on her hand I was lucky my head didn't fall off.

"Edward I waited for you cause I thought you were looking for a serious relationship, but when you asked me to go to your apartment I felt excited cause I felt we're taking the next step" God, I felt ashamed "but now I know, we're through Edward I don't want any of this anymore." Well neither did I. She ran away from me still crying.

Part of me jump for joy while the intsy bitsy part of me felt guilty. It wasn't exactly how I planned on breaking up with her, but hey it worked who's to blame.

I stared at my sleeping angel, her lips were swollen and her cheeks were flushed. It made me want to kidnap her and tie her to my bedroom.

"Hey" someone shouted.

I turned around and I felt a connection --- a connection between my face and a fist.

"Give me back Bella and you won't taste my fist and my 4inch manolos." I fell back a little bit. Wow this pixie is strong.

"Wait, wait atleast hear my explanation" I touched where it stung, this face is totally getting beat up.

"Edward is that you?" I snapped my head back up until I could see the girl clearly. There is only one pixie girl that I know.

"Alice?" she jumped around and started screaming. Yeah this is Alice the ball of energy.

"Edward why are you here and why are you carrying Bella?" oh so Bella's her name it fits her perfectly. I like it Bella, Bella Cullen… _What did you just think about? Edward Freaking Cullen does not add last names to the girl I just made out with, even Tanya wasn't worthy to be called a Cullen._

"Hello earth to Edward" she was waving her hands at my face trying to pull me out of my reverie.

"Huh, yeah" stop thinking about _your_ angel. Okay your angel, I am so messed up.

"So can you please answer my question or I'll run around and scream rapist" I chuckled at the thought of Alice running around.

"Okay so here it goes BellawasdrunkandshetrippedandIcaughtherthenshefellunconscious"

"What I didn't even understand a thing even if It was a fashion catalogue" She tapped her foot lightly.

"I said Bella was drunk and she tripped on the stairs luckily I caught her then she fell unconscious" okay so I know I left out a minor detail about what really happened, but I was playing safe. One little white lie couldn't hurt nobody right? Wrong.

"Is that the truth Mr. Cullen cause I think I've witnessed a full make out session just moments ago huh"

"uhm that was… uh… yeah" I felt so dumb. I couldn't even talk straight.

"Mr. Cullen is lost for his words, well that's a first" she laughed.

"Well there's a first for everything right?" this lively banter reminded me of Alice way back then, when we were neighbors.

I was 9 while Alice was 7. We do same things and eat the same foods and when she cries I cry. We had a brother-sister bond. Her parents weren't always home so she always stays with us. Then one day her parents decided that they're gonna move out, I was devastated. We were crying so hard that I think all the water from my body was dried out.

"So Edward you've met our lovely Bella" she said smiling. She was planning something, something I didn't like.

"Yup she is, well she is very different" she's pretty, she's sexy, and _she's drunk. _Okay I know.

All of a sudden I saw a hot blond came our way and started shouting "Alice". I fixed my hair with my free hand and Bella was still unconscious. The only thing I heard was 'hmmmms' and 'adonis', which made me chuckle. The blond was soon followed by a big – no - huge guy, he wrapped his hands around the blond's waist.

"Alice are we ready to go cause Emmett's been bothering me to go home" she stopped talking and glance at me.

"We'll hello" she said. Emmett -I think- got protective and tightened his hug around her.

"Hello" I used my velvety voice to good use, though, I was a little unsure on how to answer.

"Alice" Emmett suddenly flexed his biceps warning me.

"Why is he carrying Bella" there was a hint of displeasure in his tone. Ok so I know I got a little scared. Luckily Alice covered for me.

"Someone tried to take advantage of Bella" she suddenly looked at me "then Edward, a normal passer by well not actually normal cause he's my friend and all that, kicked the crap out of him." Emmett eyed me suspiciously. I just stood there with a big smile on my face.

"Edward this Rosalie and Emmett, Rose, Em this is Edward my best friend." I think Emmett doesn't like me that much. _Well if you've been canoodling with his friend who doesn't hate you, _well technically that's right I even hate myself. But I couldn't bring to regret the kiss.

"Alice, you haven't said that you have a handsome friend" Rosalie said while checking me and Bella.

"Rose" Emmett whined. I didn't expect Emmett to whine for his size.

"Oh shut up, I don't like that kind of guys but Bella does. You big oaf I love you." Emmett started kissing Rosalie actually they were making out in the parking lot. I was suddenly jealous of this kind of relationship, cause I haven't had a serious one before.

"Okay hormonal teenagers are humping on the parking lot, ewwww, let's make it pg-13 while Edward, Bella and I are here I don't wanna know what happens inside close doors" Rosalie snorted.

"Atleast something happens inside close doors not like anyone here" Emmett retorted. Alice stuck her tongue out. "Alice I think I see a couple of webs between your thighs" Alice gasped and Rosalie punched him.

"Emmett McCartney so help me God… you will regret saying that" she pointed at Emmett.

"Bring it on Tinkerbelle! let me see what you can dot"

"Oh you're on you big oaf." She started rummaging in her bag, fishing out her phone. "Rosalie do you want to go shopping, my treat?" Rosalie's head snapped and nodded.

"If you want to… then you cannot have sex with Emmett for 3 weeks" I tried not laugh but the scene infront me was so funny. Emmett's eyes are bulging out, Rosalie was computing something and Alice had a smug look in her face.

"Deal, I accept" Emmett started to whine and tried to kiss Rosalie but Rosalie just pushed him away.

"Alice I take back what I said about the webs and the thigh things, just don't take Rosalie away from me." Emmett started pleading and it was so fun to watch. The big guy pleading to the little pixie ahh comedic relief you don't experience everyday.

"Never in my life did I make such a nice thing for your neighbors Emmett, no way" Alice smirked.

"Alice we need to go" Rosalie interrupted. "I have to pick out the things that I wanted to buy for our shopping trip and Emmett has to work" I was a little disappointed that Alice had to go but I was more upset because Bella had to go and I felt empty without Bella. _Get it together Cullen. You're Edward Freaking Cullen for crying out loud._

I carried Bella and placed her inside the car. I gave Alice my call card so we can catch up on things we have missed we'll actually I wanted Bella to know my number. When the girls were inside the car, Emmett wanted to talk to me alone.

"If I found out it was you who harassed her then I'm gonna beat you to a pulp and the doctors won't even know how to fix you, got that Edwin." Ok note to self when Emmett finds out, flee the country no go to Mars.

So yeah my finals are over but there are a lot of things the school wants us to do. I tried to put comedic relief in this chapter, in the next chapter I have some evil plan. I hope you continue reading. Please leave a review.

_**REVIEW**___for_**SUGGESTIONS**_or any_**CLARIFICATIONS**__...__**REVIEW**_

Edward doesn't bite…yet.


	5. Author's Note

Author's Note:

This is not an Update. Peace...

I'm really sorry for not updating fast enough. I've been on my cousin's house for about 3 weeks so I have not written anything since then. I just got home yesterday and I needed sleep. My cousins and I are like vampires we do not sleep at all. *going sleepy*

I plan on updating maybe this weekend or something. I have been driving my head on the wall so that I could think of something. My creative juices ran out and I had to buy it from the Hasmine market which was inside my head.

I just posted my second fanfic named "**The Stupid Yet Famous Lamb**". Try reading it it's much more nice than the summary. I wrote this story before I left my house so I posted it today.

I'm really, really sorry again.

Again, Thank you for those who gave reviews and put my story on alert/favorite I hope you could continue reading my stupid, crappy work.


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